


Whatever It Is That We're Doing

by alessandralee



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-19
Updated: 2013-11-19
Packaged: 2018-01-02 01:19:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1050812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alessandralee/pseuds/alessandralee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jemma wants to tell the team about their relationship, but Grant has his reasons for being reluctant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whatever It Is That We're Doing

After the eighth time that Fitz nearly walks in on them half dressed (an empty conference room at 7:32 PM, when he should be eating dinner with Skye, May, and Coulson), Jemma Simmons decides it’s time she and Ward come clean about their relationship. She’s a grown woman with two PhDs and a job that allows her to push the boundaries of science on daily basis, she doesn’t appreciate sneaking around like children. 

When Ward slips into her room 5 hours later, this time positive that everyone is asleep or otherwise occupies, she’s prepared to tell him what she wants to do.

His hands are around her waist as soon as she shuts the door behind him. She has to gently push him away before she can talk to him, and given the warmth that spreads through her body the moment he touches her, that takes a great deal of self control.

“We need to talk.”

He instantly stop reaching for her, backs up, and meets her eyes apprehensively. She has a feeling this wasn’t going to go over well, but she thought she’d at least be able to get mention it first.

She motions for him to sit on her bed, and he obliges. She sits down next to him, grabs his hand and… decides it would be best not to have this conversation in such close proximity. She drops his hands, stands up, and turns her desk chair around to face him before sitting in it.

Her nervous antics make him chuckle, which diffuses the tension in the room just enough to let her speak, although not without a great deal of hesistation.

“I think, erm, that we should… tell the team, you know, about us.”

He doesn’t respond, just stares at his hands, his fingers twiddling anxiously. She looks at him pointedly, but he refuses to meet her eyes.

“What’s the worst that could happen? You don’t honestly think that Coulson’s going to object to this? I mean, he’s mentions Romanoff and Barton before, and he seemed okay with that-“

“Coulson doesn’t really get to object to anything that they do. They’re two of SHIELD’s most important agents.”

Jemma’s face falls. She doesn’t know how to counter that.

He continues. “I don’t know why we need to tell anyone now. Even if they are okay with co-workers doing whatever it is that we’re doing, they’re probably going to second guess our ability to commit to our jobs when the other is in danger.”

Jemma’s not even sure what that last part means, but she’s too angry that he can’t even say the work ‘relationship’ to really care about that. She wants to scream at him, but that wouldn’t go unnoticed in her bedroom in the middle of night. So she settles for ordering him out of the room.

“You should leave,” she practically growls.

“Look Jemma, I-“

“Now.” She cuts him off and he decides it’s in his best interest to follow her instructions.

She waits until she hears the door to his room slam before he heads to the lab. It’s easier to drown herself in work than to cry herself to sleep. She stays there until she can barely keep her eyes open. Once she decides it’s a danger to be working in her state, she heads back to her room to sleep.

_______________

 

The next morning Grant tries to talk to her before breakfast, but she calls out to Skye about a movie the other woman recommended and Skye unknowingly swoops in and rescues her.

She spends the next few hours in the lab with Fitz, ignoring Grant every time he walks by (ten times in just under three hours, as far as she noticed). Then she oversees the transport of DNA samples at one of SHIELD’s secure facilities. And then they’re back on the place, headed to a small town in New Zealand. Coulson has refused to tell them anything more about why they’re going there, for the time being.

When Fitz packs up for the night, she realizes it’s going to be nearly impossible to avoid Grant now. She does manage to get about two more hours of work in before he appears at the lab doors, although she was too distracted for much of it to be useful.

She hears the lab doors open and close behind him, but she makes a point of not looking up from her specimens. This confrontation might be unavoidable, but she isn’t going to make it easy for him. He clears his throat, but she still doesn’t look up. He gets the hint and speaks anyway.

“Look I’m sorry about last night. You just surprised me.”

Now she looks up, angry that he couldn’t come up with a better excuse than that.

“Bullshit.”

He actually winces.

“Fair enough. Here’s the thing. I’m not good at relationships of any kind. Until this team, I’ve always worked alone. And generally that’s worked for a reason. And being here on this plane, on this team, it’s going really well. But it’s been even longer since I was in a romantic relationship.”

He delivers that last bit like it pains him to confess to it. And while he’s hesitancy now makes more sense to Jemma, she’s still hurt and can’t help but push for more of an explanation, regardless of how uncomfortable he clearly is.

“How long?”

He sighs. He probably didn’t want to go into this.

“Five years. Maybe. Probably not. It wasn’t much of a relationship. High school.”

He’s red-faced as he spits all of that out, as if the sooner he the words leave his mouth then the sooner he can pretend he never said them.

“I mean, I’ve certain been with women since then. But that didn’t involve much emotion. It’s kind of hard to screw up sex.”

She doesn’t really want to hear about any of the other women he’s been with, but the part of about screwing things up needs elaboration. So she raises both of her eyebrows at him, urging him to continue.

“If we tell everyone, then this becomes real. And if this is real, then I will fuck things up. And Skye, and Fitz, and Coulson, and May will blame me for hurting you.”

He says this all with his eyes fixated on his shoes. It’s not the most logical of thought processes, as far as Jemma is concerned, but from what he’s mentioned to her of his past, she knows there’s a lot of guilt and blame tied up in his emotions. She crosses the room and him in to her.

Forcing Grant to look her in the eyes, she says, “If this ends badly, and one of us gets hurt then it’s no one’s fault. That’s just what happens in relationships. And if anyone blames you for that, it’s on them, not you. I know what I’m getting into.” As an afterthought she adds, “They won’t, by the way. Not even Fitz. He learned to stay out of my love life a long time ago.”

He wraps he arms around her waist and up her back, pulling her as close as possible, and lays a kiss on the top of her head.

“So, do you want to tell them now?” He mumbles into her hair.

She meets his eyes with a giant grin.

“Only if we can get to Fitz before he goes to bed.”

And with that she’s pulling him out of the lab in search of Fitz and the rest of the team. There’s still a bunch of test tubes and petri dishes out on the lab table, but neither of them remembers.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt "fight" from tumblr user bowties---arecool.


End file.
